Wednesday, November 17, 2010

It's coming....

Can you detect the distant scent of balsam? Hear those jingle bells on the fat man's suit as he wedges himself down the chimney? I am a cookie baking, ugly sweater wearing, gift wrapping Christmas junkie. As soon as Thanksgiving is over, I am marching right over to CB2 for these babies...

Why are obese animals so wonderful?! Git on my tree, fatties!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Anthropologie's Awkward Phase

Anthropologie, you need a sassy gay friend. What, what, what are you doing?!

Normally the source of constant longing and hours of dream shopping, my beloved Anthropologie has taken a swift nose dive in to the realm of FUGLY. I skipped to my computer, ready to be dazzled by their latest wares, only to be slapped in the face by a stream of nasty that I could not have imagined.

Normally, I can't decide which dress I want to waste about $200 on more. See a previous post for an idea of what I mean. Today, I present a different collection - a collection of poor choices:

Firewarmed Shift - $118
Just a boring red sack of a dress. The least of my issues though. Keep scrolling.

Hiawatha Dress - $348
Must we continue to insult the Native Americans?

First Whisperings Dress - $168
This belongs on some lady in a hippie cult commune. And it should cost $19.95 at Target. And she should have bought it on sale for $8.95 because no one else would.


Paisley Pixie Dress - $198
Art Nouveau MuuMuu, anyone?

Spectre Dreams Dress - $248
Where do I even begin? The best thing about this dress is that it would make a killer Betty Davis in "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane" costume.

History Repeating Shirtdress - $428
Whose history? Why are we repeating it?!

I am hoping this is a rebellious phase and my dear, sweet Anthro will be the darling girl I know she is inside once more. Only time will tell, but I don't think I will be spending my imaginary money there any time soon.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Goodbye, David the Gnome

Sadness. Tom Bosley died today. I know most remember him as the Dad on Happy Days, but I have fond memories of summer vacation with my sister, bouncing on the couch and eating microwaved popcorn while we watched David the Gnome, Maya the Bee, Eureka's Castle and some cartoon about Koala bears that I can't remember the name of.

I still know the entire theme song to David the Gnome:

I hope you found the Kingdom of the Gnomes, Tom.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Leviticus for the Restofus

My Facebook status today, after reading a New York Times Article:

"It says in Leviticus that a man lying with another man is an abomination (Leviticus 18:22). It also says that I need to sacrifice two doves when I get my period (Leviticus 15:30), and that you must shun a person from society if they like their steak rare (Leviticus 17:13). We can't pick and choose, Paladino..."

 The dialogue that followed has been interesting, and I must say, Leviticus is pretty interesting. Here are some more tidbits of wisdom:

Lev. 19:19: "Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material" which to me means that Forever 21 is an abomination, which is interesting if you have ever seen the "John 3:16" on the bottom of their shopping bags.

Lev. 11:12 and 11:22: Don't eat shelfish, but thankfully you can eat locusts and grasshoppers. 

Sunday, October 10, 2010

One or Both or All but actually NONE

There are so many, many things I want to go buy right now. Where is my clothing patron?? I wonder what's involved in acquiring an Anthropologie franchise...

Alas, you can't get money from a pauper stone. Le sigh...